Hamster wheel

In a post from January that never got published, I predicted that 2011 would be a totally crazy year for us. Here’s a rundown of recent events:

We had a very sudden, very unexpected death in the family – our girls lost their beloved great-grandmother in March. As Matt’s grandfather put it, “It was a good way to go but a bad way to leave.” We are grateful that she did not suffer, but we were reeling from the shock for a long time. You know, she sent a huge package of clothes for the girls last December, and I find myself still dressing the twins in outfits that are maybe a little too small now because I hate to face the point at which I stop using the last gifts she picked out for my children.

Work is going well, and I still adore my job and the editing work that I do (just had my 6-year work anniversary!), but I’ve been appointed to a project that makes me rather nervous. Soon, I’ll begin editing a large grant application with an inflexible external deadline. Given enough time, I can do great work (she says modestly), but time is the 1 factor that no one is generous with. The deadline is just over 1 month away, and I still haven’t been given any material. In the meantime, I’ve chewed my fingernails down to nubs in worried anticipation.

On the home front, Matt changed jobs last fall and we are trying to sell our house so that we can eliminate the 2-hr daily commute. If it wasn’t crazy enough to be FT-working mama of 3 under 3 in a town largely without quality restaurants (FSM, if there’s 1 thing I miss about life in Jersey, it’s more good restaurants than I could shake a stick at), now I have to attain/maintain the supercrazyclean show-ready house, too. No joke, keeping the house supercrazyclean with 2 Shedding Cats, 1 Absentminded Husband, Hurricane Toddler, and Can’t-Quite-Feed-Themselves-But-Must-Try Twins has been really, really hard. (And on the self-pity front, my 2x-monthly housekeeper moved out of state right before the house went on the market, so it really is all up to me.) But let me tell you how superclean it is – not too long ago, Casey was on the floor in the kitchen, I was feeding her little bunny cookies from a plate on a stepstool. She dropped a few bunnies on the floor. Normally, we avoid “floor food” because my floors often have a little cat hair, sandbox detritus from Meredith’s socks, etc, but this time, without any hesitation, I scooped the cookies up and fed them right back to Casey. People, the house is clean enough that WE ARE LITERALLY EATING OFF THE FLOOR.

I’ve given up trying to do anything other than the things that must be done every day. ||:Get the girls to and from day care. Pump milk. Work. Make dinner. Clean the house. Do laundry. Bathe. Maybe sleep a little.:|| It doesn’t feel like a sustainable lifestyle, possibly because I feel sort of frantic most of the time. Do hamsters enjoy running on their wheels?

In more cheerful news, we got to meet our niece Victoria recently. She was born last November and is my parents’ fourth granddaughter. Isn’t she just a little peach?

7 thoughts on “Hamster wheel

  1. Hang in there, June! Here’s hoping that a shorter commute will be better all around.

  2. Good luck selling your house; two different friends finally sold their houses in our small town, so maybe things are looking up in your neck of the woods too. And I agree with Evelyn – hang in there!

  3. Life transitions are always tough, and that three under three thing should never be underrated. Just keep the nostrils above water.

  4. June! hang in there! You’re awesome and i can’t believe all that you’re doing — amazing. Fingers crossed that the house will be sold soon!! I’m so sorry to hear about matt’s grandmother…

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